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Salaams and Good Morning !

Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!

Can you overdo an apology?

Absolutely! It is one thing to express remorse for what we have done, and it is quite another to share the depths of shame and remorse we might be feeling with another person to the extent that they feel the need to take care of our emotional distress.

Apologies like this show up in sentences like:

I am sorry I am a horrible person
I can never get over what I did to you
I feel absolutely terrible

Apologies like this seem genuine on the surface and they might be. The problem is that the focus is not on the distress of the offended person but rather on the feelings of the offender.

We need to be careful about making the offended person feel bad about how bad we are feeling. Processing our feelings of guilt and remorse is ours to process and does not belong in the apology process.
So, if we are feeling awful about what we have done, let us practice sitting in that distress after we have expressed remorse rather than putting the burden on the offended person to make us feel better.

Wishing you a day full of positivity, purpose and peace.
Warm blessings

Marzia  

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Lots more resources on living your best self www.marziahassan.org

Have you listened to the podcast yet?
Family Connections Podcast

Here are some book recommendations on learning how to apologize

Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner PhD, Cassandra Campbell, et al.

Sorry About That: The Language of Public Apology. By Edwin Battistella

When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

Art of the Apology: How, When, and Why to Give and Accept Apologies by Lauren M. Bloom

Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust by John Kador

On Apology by Aaron Lazare

The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships by Beverly Engel

The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman


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