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Salaams and Good Morning !

Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!

This type of thinking pattern essentially thinks: It’s not me, it’s you. It is not my fault, it is yours. No matter what the issue is, I am right, and you are wrong. Please don't confuse me with facts or evidence or what experts think because I am not open to influence.

With this distortion, the idea that we could be wrong is absolutely unacceptable, and we will fight to the metaphorical death to prove that we are right. We can see this distortion quite easily on social media platforms where people sometimes spend hours arguing with each other over an opinion or political issue far beyond the point where reasonable individuals would conclude that they should "agree to disagree". To them, it is not simply a matter of a difference of opinion, it is an intellectual battle that must be won at all costs. The idea that there may be another equally valid opinion is quite alien.

As you can imagine, always being right can make us slightly (!) insufferable, tiring and difficult to live with. Those around us will eventually give up trying to get us to widen our perspective and make room for another view. They will withdraw from the relationship rather than make every discussion a battle ground about who is right.

If we are susceptible to this kind of thinking pattern, it may be very valuable to remind ourselves that "we can either be right or we can be happy".

Despite the reminder, some of us will still choose to be right over happy. I often see this kind of thinking pattern with people who come to ‘fix’ others in the relationship while not being willing to look at their own part in creating that relationship.

When we are thinking like this, we can be closed to advice or counsel from others. Since we can do no wrong, we have no room for improvement. We may die alone and miserable, but at least we will be right!

Wishing you a day full of positivity, purpose and peace.
Warm blessings

Marzia  

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Please scroll down for a list of recommended books on building your emotional intelligence
 
 
 
 
 
Lots more resources on living your best self www.marziahassan.com

Have you listened to the podcast yet?
Family Connections Podcast

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D Burns, MD
The good news is that anxiety, guilt, pessimism, procrastination, low self-esteem, and other "black holes" of depression can be cured without drugs. In Feeling Good, eminent psychiatrist, David D. Burns, M.D., outlines the remarkable, scientifically proven techniques that will immediately lift your spirits and help you develop a positive outlook on life.

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Dr. Daniel Goleman.
Touching on psychology and neuroscience, the expert on brain and behavioral sciences, Dr. Goleman explains the crucial skills for success offered by emotional intelligence that can determine your success in relationships and work and may impact your overall health.



Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, and Patrick M. Lencioni.

One of the most famous on this topic, this book is focused more on ways to use EQ to improve your life. You’ll find a step-by-step program for increasing your emotional intelligence that focuses on four core skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, along with activities that will help you boost each of these areas.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.
The classic on self-growth, this book remains a top seller and go-to for millions around the world. Taking a less conventional approach to the subject, he isn’t focused on emotional intelligence per se, but rather presents a guide for anyone looking to better understand and control their emotions. The seven habits described in his book all require an awareness and control of emotional intelligence while teaching people how to become more proactive, a big-picture thinker, manage various interaction while building more effective communication.


The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationshipsby Jeanne Segal.
A great
resource for finding information on using emotional intelligence to build better relationships with just about everyone in your life. Segal lays out a simple step-by-step program on how to use five basic tools of emotional intelligence to enhance your relationships through better communication, reading non-verbal cues, and gaining skills at diffusing arguments and conflicts before they get out of hand.


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