Over the last few days I have been hearing some version of the following over and over again:

"I shouldn’t complain. I have it so much better than so many other people". "I am missing this and that. But really I should not feel bad about it. So much bigger stuff going on in the world".

This is true. Alhamdullilah. We certainly have it better than many many people in the world who are suffering so much. And it is very good to remind ourselves of that from time to time especially when we go down a negative thought spiral.

But here’s the thing: it is also okay to feel sad about something small that meant something to you. Disappointment over something that you were looking forward to that got cancelled. That your favourite restaurant has closed its doors for ever. That you feel tired for no reason. That your children are giving you a hard time . . .

That single mom who is also a doctor and worried about her family is not going to be worse off if you complain or grieve – or better off if you stop. And the people who are suffering because they have just lost their livelihood are no better or worse off if we allow ourselves a moment or two to acknowledge that we are having a hard time or feeling overwhelmed.

There is more than enough compassion to go around, for ourselves and for others.

The thing about compassion, empathy and kindness is that it is not limited. You do not "use it up" if you use it on yourself. You cannot "save it" to use it on "deserving people" while denying it to yourself.

So please let us not ration compassion right now. Offer it freely to ourselves and others.

So, at least for some moments of the day, can we just give ourselves the gift of acknowledging that we are having a moment or two of distress?

Can we consider that

All of us can have a hard time.

All of us can be exhausted.
We can all be scared and feel anxious.

Yes, in different ways. Certainly, in different measures. But let us try on the notion that someone else’s suffering does not negate our own.

So go ahead.

Make room for both grief and gratitude and stop having feelings about your feelings.

Because sooo many of us women struggle with feeling compassion for ourselves, this is a concept we come back to again and again in the MEM membership for women. And our members report that they get sooo much better at noticing when they are being hard on themselves and are able to switch gears - and motivate themselves with kindness rather than criticism.

Consider joining us if you want to master your mental and emotional wellbeing. Here is the information and while enrollment is currently closed, I am keeping doors open for friends and family until Sunday. When registration opens again, the price will be higher.

Here is the link to register.