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Salaams and Good Morning !

Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!

When we notice the catastrophic trains of thought that we have been discussing, we can challenge ourselves:

1)    To consider other possible outcomes

They do not have to be super positive either. They can be positive, neutral or even mildly negative – just not catastrophic. There is a vast difference between something being unpleasant, unwanted and catastrophic. Failing an exam, while unwanted and even distressing, does not doom anyone to eternal failure. Can you see that?

2)    To increase our perception of our ability to cope.


Life seldom throws things at us beyond our capacity to cope. If we remind ourselves that our ability to cope with life’s challenges has been pretty stellar so far, we can come up with a plan B and a plan C if the worst does come to materialize. When our brain becomes engaged in thinking about possible solutions and options, the attention moves away from the catastrophe itself and towards a more productive way of thinking.

3)    To remind ourselves of the resources that we have at our disposal

We do not have to go through challenging times (or even a true catastrophe) all on our own. If the worst does come to pass, who can we call on? What resources do we have that would help us cope? Resources include friends and loved ones, skills or abilities we have, and methods or techniques that have helped us cope in other situations. Questions like these change our train of thought from problems to solutions.

4)    To ask ourselves what we would tell a friend who was catastrophizing

Most of us are REALLY good at giving advice to others but we tend to hit brick walls and blind spots when we ourselves are dealing with challenging situations. An effective way to get around this tendency is to imagine that a friend is coming with the same problem. What would we tell this friend to help them cope better?

5)    To ask ourselves what we need or would like to hear in order to feel reassured

Only we know what makes us feel relaxed rather than anxious. What thoughts or words settle you down when you are nervous? In what tone? In whose voice? You can say these aloud to yourself to help reassure yourself. Audible and reassuring self-talk in situations like this really does help. Try it!

Wishing you a day full of positivity, purpose and peace.
Warm blessings

Marzia  

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Please scroll down for a list of recommended books on building your emotional intelligence
 
 
 
 
 
Lots more resources on living your best self www.marziahassan.com

Have you listened to the podcast yet?
Family Connections Podcast

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D Burns, MD
The good news is that anxiety, guilt, pessimism, procrastination, low self-esteem, and other "black holes" of depression can be cured without drugs. In Feeling Good, eminent psychiatrist, David D. Burns, M.D., outlines the remarkable, scientifically proven techniques that will immediately lift your spirits and help you develop a positive outlook on life.

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Dr. Daniel Goleman.
Touching on psychology and neuroscience, the expert on brain and behavioral sciences, Dr. Goleman explains the crucial skills for success offered by emotional intelligence that can determine your success in relationships and work and may impact your overall health.



Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, and Patrick M. Lencioni.

One of the most famous on this topic, this book is focused more on ways to use EQ to improve your life. You’ll find a step-by-step program for increasing your emotional intelligence that focuses on four core skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, along with activities that will help you boost each of these areas.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.
The classic on self-growth, this book remains a top seller and go-to for millions around the world. Taking a less conventional approach to the subject, he isn’t focused on emotional intelligence per se, but rather presents a guide for anyone looking to better understand and control their emotions. The seven habits described in his book all require an awareness and control of emotional intelligence while teaching people how to become more proactive, a big-picture thinker, manage various interaction while building more effective communication.


The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationshipsby Jeanne Segal.
A great
resource for finding information on using emotional intelligence to build better relationships with just about everyone in your life. Segal lays out a simple step-by-step program on how to use five basic tools of emotional intelligence to enhance your relationships through better communication, reading non-verbal cues, and gaining skills at diffusing arguments and conflicts before they get out of hand.


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