Salaams and Good Morning !

Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!

Just because we have decided that now is the time to take responsibility and apologize, it does not mean that we are entitled to forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a journey that the hurt person needs to take on their own terms and in their own time. While receiving an apology is likely to expedite the process and allow them to begin to heal and let go, it may not happen instantly.

Depending on the nature of the offence and the hurt caused, a simple apology, even if it is sincere, may not be enough. Or even if it is enough, the person may still need time to process the hurt and to heal.

So forcing the other to forgive by saying something like: "I said I’m sorry already, why can’t you just let it go?", will likely undo the apology as the offended person begins to sense that you do not still get the extent of hurt or damage you may have caused.

For an apology to be effective, it must be clear that:
1) You accept responsibility for your actions, omissions or commissions,
2) You get the pain that the other person is in, and are sincerely sorry for anything you have done to cause that pain and
3) You want to remedy the situation by giving them what they need to feel safe in order to move on and to forgive you.

So let us remember that not all apologies lead to immediate forgiveness. It may take time. And it may take apologizing more than once.
But it is a VERY important first step for the offended person to trust that you feel contrition for your actions.  And even if they cannot forgive you immediately, they will most likely appreciate the effort.

Without this first step, they may still choose to take the journey of forgiveness for their own wellbeing, but it will most likely be without you as part of their life.

Wishing you a day full of positivity, purpose and peace.
Warm blessings


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Lots more resources on living your best self

Have you listened to the podcast yet?
Family Connections Podcast

Here are some book recommendations on learning how to apologize

Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner PhD, Cassandra Campbell, et al.

Sorry About That: The Language of Public Apology. By Edwin Battistella

When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

Art of the Apology: How, When, and Why to Give and Accept Apologies by Lauren M. Bloom

Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust by John Kador

On Apology by Aaron Lazare

The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships by Beverly Engel

The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman

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