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Salaams and Good Morning !
Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!
Over the last little while, we have been talking about the link between emotion and motion – in other words how taking action can change your feelings.
This week, let’s explore how we can sometimes get to the very source of negative emotions to prevent them rather than changing them once they appear.
Before I explain this further, let’s do a quick exercise.
Imagine that your family is rushing to get out of the house in the morning and you are trying to do several things at once: get ready for work, make sure the children have everything they need for the day, feed them breakfast and connect with your spouse about the evening plans. It is one of those days and everyone is running a bit late.
Get the picture?
Now, just as everyone is about to bolt from the breakfast table and get into the car/bus/bicycle, your six-year-old spills the entire box of cereal on the floor. Oooops. Now everyone
will be late for sure.
What is your reaction?
Do you think: "There he goes again. Clumsy little fellow. I keep telling him to be careful but he NEVER EVER listens. He dawdled while getting up from bed and now because of his carelessness he will make us all late. GRRRRRRR".
Now just rate your irritation from 0 (being completely calm) to 10 (blinding rage).
Where are you at?
Most parents would say somewhere around 4-7.
Now take a breath and think some different thoughts: "Oh poor baby. He was trying hard to get ready on time and lost control of the cereal box. Accidents happen. He is learning to do things by himself and this takes time. He is a good kid".
Where is your anger now on the same scale?
If you are like most people, it is way down – around 1 or 2 – that is mildly irritated or exasperated.
What changed? The situation is exactly the same but your feelings in response to your thoughts and your self talk are likely to be vastly different.
Try this exercise the next time you find yourself feeling upset. Consciously take a breath and practice
thinking helpful and supportive thoughts. You may discover that by changing your thoughts you change the underlying feeling.
This week we will inshallah explore our thinking patterns and how we can begin to shift our emotions by changing our thoughts.
Wishing you a day full of positivity, purpose and peace.
Warm blessings
Marzia
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Please scroll down
for a list of recommended books on building your emotional intelligence
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Have you listened to the podcast yet?
Family Connections Podcast
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Dr. Daniel Goleman.
Touching on psychology and neuroscience, the expert on brain and behavioral sciences, Dr. Goleman explains the crucial skills for success offered by emotional intelligence that can
determine your success in relationships and work and may impact your overall health.
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, and Patrick M. Lencioni.
One of the most famous on this topic, this book is focused more on ways to use EQ to improve your life. You’ll find a step-by-step program for increasing your emotional intelligence that focuses on four core skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, along with activities that will help you boost each of these areas.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.
The classic on self-growth, this book remains a top seller and go-to for millions around the world. Taking a less conventional approach to the subject, he isn’t focused on emotional intelligence per se, but rather presents a guide for anyone looking to better understand and control their emotions. The seven habits described in his book all require an awareness and control of
emotional intelligence while teaching people how to become more proactive, a big-picture thinker, manage various interaction while building more effective communication.
The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The
Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationshipsby Jeanne Segal.
A great resource for finding information on using emotional intelligence to build better relationships with just about everyone in your life. Segal lays out a simple step-by-step program on how to use five basic tools of emotional intelligence to enhance your relationships through better communication, reading non-verbal cues, and gaining skills at diffusing arguments and conflicts before they get out of hand.
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