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Salaams and Good Morning !

Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!

We have been discussing gaslighting and its significant impact on a relationship.

The question we will explore today is this: is it possible for a relationship where there has been gaslighting to heal and become healthy?

Of course, it is not a good idea to write anyone off since people can surprise us and change in healthy ways when we do not expect them to.

However, we also need to be realistic about what is probable.

In relationships where gaslighting is a pattern, or used as a tool of emotional and characterological abuse, change is only possible if the perpetrator is open to intensive and long-term individual therapy. This requires some level of self awareness or awakening on the part of the perpetrator to realize their behavior has damaged another human being’s psychological wellbeing. Since abusers and perpetrators of gaslighting are rarely open to such treatment or to examining their own behavior and its impact, it is often up to the victim of gaslighting to seek help for themselves rather than wait for the perpetrator to change.

In other scenarios where gaslighting is part of a cover up of a particular set of lies, or where it is because of the argumentative nature of the person, there is more hope for healing.

Even this scenario does require that the person engaging in the gaslighting behavior is genuinely concerned about the impact they are having on the victim, they are willing to look at their own contribution to the problem, and they are willing to learn healthier ways of communicating in close relationships.

The road to rebuilding trust in a relationship is long and the path is challenging. But it is definitely possible with good support and hard work. It is imperative to do the work to rebuild trust if there is any desire for an authentic, healthy and mutually satisfying relationship.

Wishing you a day full of positivity, purpose and peace.
Warm blessings

Marzia  

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Lots more resources on living your best self www.marziahassan.org

Have you listened to the podcast yet?
Family Connections Podcast

Here are some book recommendations on learning how to apologize

Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner PhD, Cassandra Campbell, et al.

Sorry About That: The Language of Public Apology. By Edwin Battistella

When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

Art of the Apology: How, When, and Why to Give and Accept Apologies by Lauren M. Bloom

Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust by John Kador

On Apology by Aaron Lazare

The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships by Beverly Engel

The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman


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