Do you have a tendency to take things personally? If so, read on.

The ancient Taoist teacher, Chuang-Tzu taught a valuable lesson through the following story.

Imagine that you are floating in a canoe on a slow-moving river, having a Sunday picnic with a friend. Suddenly there is a loud thump on the side of the canoe, and it rolls over. You come up sputtering, and what do you see?

Somebody has snuck up on your canoe, flipped it over for a joke, and is laughing at you.

How do you feel? 

And now imagine the exact same situation again: the picnic in a canoe, the loud thump, you being dumped into the river, coming up sputtering etc etc.

However, instead of some people laughing at your sorry plight, what you see that a large submerged log has drifted downstream and bumped into your canoe, tipping it over.

How do you feel?

The external facts are the same in each case: You are cold and wet and your picnic is ruined.

Your internal reaction to the events is likely very different.

In the first scenario, when you feel personally picked on, you are likely triggered and quite angry.

In the second scenario, when you see that it is a random log that you bumped into while drifting down the river, you may be annoyed but probably not angry at the log. After all, it was not personal.

The thing is, that most of what bumps into us in life – including emotional reactions from others, traffic jams, illness, or mistreatment at work – is like an impersonal log put in motion by 10,000 causes upstream. Usually it is not personal. Although it can certainly feel like it is.

If you struggle with taking things personally and letting go of minor and major upsets, you may want to consider signing up for our Ramadan workshop: The Healing Journey of Forgiveness: a blueprint for moving from resentment towards peace.

Registration is only open for a few more days and the early action bonus goes away tomorrow. Here are the details and link to register.